The Perfect Kiss

First off, I'm sorry I haven't written. I just haven't felt inspired to write. It works that way--sometimes it gets to a point where it's like, 'why am I even doing this?' but I'm understanding that this is an outlet that I use when I have so uh love to give, and no one to give it to. So I share it with you, fellow readers, in the hope that you receive the love I send.



Now, the perfect kiss. I can tell you for a fact that I haven't been a lucky recipient of said magic, but boy, do I yearn to someday. I do have friends, though, who are with their loved ones, and they tell me that it's one of the most sublime, perfect and special moment. I just know that every girl in the world-tall, short, big, small, red, yellow, black or white-has the potential to receive and give that perfect, pivotal kiss. It may have already happened. Or, like me, you're still waiting for it. That toe curling, heart racing, breath gasping kiss. The kiss to blow all the other kisses away. We have it in us. In my short 24 years, I have seen some pretty awesome kisses. Those awesome kisses are in their perfect prime.



But what makes the perfect kiss? The moment? The wanting? Its taste? Yes, yes, and, well, yes. But let's not forget one important element: the guy. Or girl. But someone who you feel something for, someone who is worthy of your kiss, someone who is worthy of you. Because if he or she is worthy of your kiss, then you might get to kiss them again.....and again....and again, until you're 80 and old and feeble. Your perfect kiss can lead to your perfect someone. And then you get to do one of the most awesomest things in the world, and continue giving the most perfect kiss for the rest of your life to someone who has earned them.



So go out there. Use your perfect kiss on your special someone. Don't give your kisses away. And don't settle for tepid kisses.

A Hero..

There are days where you wake up, and something clicks right. We often hear about days that are just horrible, waking up on the wrong side of the bed, getting out on the wrong foot, and things just going downhill from there. But not today; today’s a day that anything could happen. You got your makeup on just right, each strand of hair is behaving and someone told you as soon as they saw you that you lost weight. And then a song on your radio, iPod, Blackberry, MP3 player—whatever it is you listen on—comes on, and it just pretty much describes your ability to change the day to make it yours. You have the ability to have this day go GREAT. You feel in command, and let’s be honest here: you feel at least a little bit pretty. On occasion, I don’t usually feel pretty because I’m not really that pretty. But today, I feel like something good’s going to happen. It’s a great combination, looking good and feeling good. That means your day is just meant to be awesome. And it’s not an, ‘I’m feeling lucky’ day. It’s an, ‘I’m feeling inspired’ day. I’ve been listening to a song that says, “I’ll meet a hero, and we’ll dance in the morning light”, and you know what? I’m not looking for a guy who is a sappy romantic like that. I’m looking for someone who makes me feel all warm and fuzzy on the inside every day, not just one day, occasionally, like today. But in the meantime, I’ll feel good about myself today—I’ll feel pretty, and I’ll be awesome at work and I’ll try to make this day last, because I might not get another shot at this feeling again in a long time. Yet, like the song says, “I need a hero.”






I'll meet a hero, and then we'll dance 'till the morning light
Dreaming, he'll lead me
Held tight, tonight's the night.--Ella Mae Bowen

Heartaches and Love

I'm gonna come right out and say it: I hate romantic comedies. Hate them. Hate them all, from the cheesiest sorts to the really good ones. I just can't sit through one anymore because I want to run from the theaters screaming my heads off, plotting the Director's untimely deaths and the maiming of the screenwriters and such. What infuriates me is the fact that those movies give girls high hopes in love. And when it doesn't happen, their hearts just sort of break, because when they fall in love, they expected it a certain way they saw in films and don't get it. Oh, trust me-there are exceptions to that rule, but mostly we really are the majority and shouldn't delude oruselves to thinking love is what we see in films. Liars. They fail to tell young girls that love isn't always perfect. Well, God's love is the only perfect kind of love, but that's about it. It's a lot of hard work, a lot of sacrifice and a lot of compromise. We'll get into specifics in a minute.

Love. It's downright a partnership that you don't see in films, but you see in relationships that have lasted what seems to be forever to us, especially if it's longer than we've been alive. But I can say I've seen it. I've seen what love looks like. The good, the bad, the ugly and the beautiful, I've seen it. I've been priveleged enough to be let in on one of the most mysterious human feelings ever registered. Why can't a film ever show that? I mean, there has been some pretty interesting films to show how the dynamics of love can seem realistic, and I applaud the directors, screenwriters and such that make a true-to-form film like that.

But let's be real here. Love is cultivated. There really isn't something called happily ever after--there is a partnership. A camaraderie, a loyalty, a faithfulness, a lot of hard work and sacrifice. You can't just possibly expect things to go your way perfectly and your partner accept your way as the best way. What happens of he/she is right? What happens if he/she makes a decision that you don't agree with or has an opinion that you're not in agreement with? Are you just going to give up? Because people seem to be doing a lot of that lately. Giving up on love. And that's just not the right move. People need to see that love isn't always sunshine and roses. In order to make love work, you need to work for love. I don't think I can emphasize that enough. In order to make love work day by day and succeed in your relationship, you need to work on adapting yourself to your partner. You need to MAKE IT WORK. People give up on making it work because they think it can end. And you know what, relationships can end. Marriages should never. You entered into a lifetime agreement and because it isn't working the way you want it to work, you give up and terminate your agreement. Well that doesn't work.



I'm not saying I don't believe in love, because I do. Oh, I very much do. Like I said, I've seen it before: love in its purest forms. But what I want people to understand is that in real life, there are no end film credits that roll when you kiss your significant other. You walk away, and live life another day. And you might argue. Or even end your relationship. What I'm trying to say is don't get pulled in by Hollywood, as much as they try to pull you. Don't let yourself be taken by them. I mean, really? Only a scarce few successful Hollywood marriages last, and that's because they're not warped, and they understand that there's no such thing as real life credits that roll. They love wisely. As we should.

“And they lived happily (aside from a few normal disagreements, misunderstandings, pouts, silent treatments, and unexpected calamities) ever after.”
-Jean Ferris

Duty or Love?

I left my heart in Brasilia. Simple as that. The city's just absolutely lovely and filled with history. Everytime I go to DC, I always get this chill down my spine because people years ago stood where I stood, declaring independence, signing important documents and all that. I actually felt a stronger connection in Brasilia than I did in DC, and I think it's because I'm connected to the city's history. After all, I am Brazilian. But it was just amazing. The city's dedicated to two people. Don Bosco, the priest who had a very precise latitude-longitude vision of Brasilia, so much so that the land he had envisioned is still to this day owned by the Vatican. And President Juscelino Kubitschek, who ordered Brasilia to be designed to be the famous plane-like shape it is today and dedicated his life to 3 things: bettering Brazil, his Jacqueline Kennedy-like wife Sarah Kubitschek, and his mistresses. Sad, but true.

But that's not what I meant when I said I left my heart in Brasilia. It is, but it's not the only reason. In the four short days I was there, I actually managed to fall in love. And not just lust--paixao, something fleeting like that. I mean, LOVE. I fell in love with someone who's wonderful, and it killed me to leave him. Now, I'm a pretty level headed person. I know the difference between like, lust and love. I've had my heart broken and my hopes dashed more times than I can count so therefore I guard my heart with the utmost intensity. I'm not a fool. I'm just a hopeless romantic who was slightly beginning to lose hope in love. I started this blog, really, in hopes of also inspiring me to start believing in love like I used to. And it worked. I didn't think I would actually really be capable of falling in love after having my heart be so seriously damaged and me be so incredibly jaded in me finding love, that I thought maybe God wanted me to be an example of what not to do for others to be able to find love without making the giant mistakes I've made. And I would've been incredibly satisfied. I feel like I'm meant to help others in some way, shape or form.

But I fell in love. And he's everything I have ever wanted and asked God for. He works for the Brazilian Government as a federal agent. He's kind, caring, loving, and solid, something EVERY girl needs. Solid. And yes, we do live in continents apart! But to be honest, this was what I needed for reasons previously stated. I needed to get out of that funk, a jolt to the heart to get it to kickstart and beat again. To understand that just because I've had lots of rotten luck with love in the past, it's exactly what it is, no longer part of my future. But I guess a little heartbreak is inevitable once you find happiness--one of the major downfalls of having dual citizenship is not knowing where you really belong. So conscientiously, I know I have to return home to the US. My life, my work, my family, my friends are all in the US. My mentality is that of an American citizen. But my blood, heart and soul will eternally be Brazilian. How do I leave the country I love so much and the man I've fallen completely and hopelessly for? How do I say goodbye? I write this in the flight back to Sao Paulo to catch a connect flight and go home. And I would've given anything to stay. Anything. And yet how do I give up a life in the country I've called home most of my life to live in a a country that I've learned, after four days, is as strange to me as any other country in the world? The eternal question: do I stay or do I go? Do I choose duty--to family, work, and comfort--or do I choose love?

On a completely different note, I'd just like to say that the Brazilian people love their Cokes way too much. I don't think they appreciate a good Acerola juice. Man, it's DELICIOUS!!

A part of you has grown in me.
And so you see, it's you and me
Together forever and never apart,
Maybe in distance, but never in heart. - Anonymous

The Vow

.....Ok. I would usually put up upcoming film trailers in my other blog, The 5050 Critics. But this film has Allie and John. And if you don't know who Allie and John are, you need to either read Nicholas Sparks or watch his films. They are the chickiest of all chick flicks. Allie was the character in The Notebook, a major tearjerker to this day, and the love shared by she and Noah transcends the pages of the novel, and John is from the more recent Dear John, where you kind of wish that a soldier will love you the way John loved Savannah. But this just looks amazingly chick flicky. And of course, being a chick, I will watch it. I probably won't love it, but because I'm a seriously hopeless romantic, I'll be swept in it.

Hold Me Now, It's Hard For Me To Say I'm Sorry....

Ah, that old Chicago song, Hard To Say I'm Sorry is always on the radio. Maybe it's because sometimes, quite often, SOMEONE screws up and has to apologize. What's the ratio on that--for every two people, one makes the mistake? Because that sounds about right.

HUMANITY. It is flawed. We are flawed creatures because of original sin. Now before you go of blaming Adam and Eve for all sorts of mals that's going on in the world, think about it. God created us with free will. FREE WILL. The ability to let us do whatever we want and make the choices that we want to do. However, it's how we deal with the consequences of our actions that make us either decent people or just plain idiots.

I mean, Adam and Eve's always going to be known as the couple who screwed up paradise with God for us. They managed to make that horrible mistake of not following one simple rule: DON'T EAT THE FRUIT. Now they're left wanting and with memories of perfection. We'll never know how that feels because perfection ceased to exist after that, so at least we don't have to ever suffer like Adam and Eve did. But do you think they spent the rest of their mortal days on Earth blaming each other? Even after their children went at it with rocks and knives and such, I don't know if they'd be blaming each other. In order to live life without any rancor, you have to learn to forgive, and you have to ASK for forgiveness. Swallow your pride!!!! And don't just say 'I'm Sorry' just so say it, and with hopes of getting them to forget about it. Forgive and forget just doesn't work. Whoever came up with that little phrase was ABSOLUTELY dead wrong. It just simply does not work. You can forgive, sure. But the act that needed forgiviness in the first place will never be erased from memory. Unless the person gets some sort of amnesia.

You can never wipe the slate clean with someone. The streaks from the chalk are still visible. But this is where it gets interesting. People tend to get fuzzy on memory if they don't have that constant reminder of a lack of apology. The words that the apology wiped away can't be brought back. You can still see the streaks, sure. But no longer can those streaks turn into words. So it's a start.

Now here's the thing: don't be one of those people that try to rehash the past by rubbing people's faults in their faces. If you forgave, great. LET GO. I'm not saying to forget; it's your prerogative as to whether or not you want to do that. But I am saying, LET GO. It only causes unwanted wrinkles and worry lines on your face, streaks your hair with premature gray, and it may even cause more tears and sorrow, so no one really wants that more than they need. So do yourself the favor. Be the bigger person. Let go of whatever's holding you back from forgiveness, either giving or receiving.

To forgive is the highest, most beautiful form of love. In return, you will receive untold peace and happiness. - Robert Muller

Roswell.....

 (Reading fortune cookies after dinner)

 Liz: Ok, this is my favorite part. It says, "this is the best night of your life."

 Max: Is that really what it says?

 Liz: Well, it's better than "a broken clock is still right twice a day."

Max: You're right. I like yours better.

Liz: Ok, let me see yours.

 Max: "Ask a girl to dance with you."

Liz: Is that really what it says?

 Max: Depends on the answer.

 Liz: Then yes.

Max: Then that's what it says.

(Takes her hand to dance)

Liz: My parents are away for the weekend. They're at a stargazing camp-out. Something about Venus being in the morning sky.

Max: I thought she was right in front of me.